What Does it Mean to be Fully Human?
I last wrote about the differences between living as an authentic creative free I, and living as an “I” that is built up of thought and feeling constructs based upon externally defined definitions. It may be that what I had written felt a bit impersonal, but to speak of the “I”, one has to speak dispassionately. However, today, I will take a somewhat different approach to this subject.
Characteristic of the general state of human consciousness in the world, is for the individual to cut themselves off from the rest of humankind. This separating gesture is necessary for us to develop an independent sense of self. We have to develop and maintain our individual sovereignty. I’m sure you will agree with me that this is an ongoing endeavor in our lives. This separating impulse is always in contradistinction to the impulse to merge and unite with someone, or something other than ourselves, whether it is with a loved one, or a group, or even an ideal of some kind. Actions in either direction lead to some degree of transformation, or death of one’s identity. The paradoxical push-pull between the two polarized experiences of separation and uniting also brings up the call for metamorphosis of self.
At some point in our process of individuation, we come to realize that we will not accept what exists in us as a result of the conditioning we experienced in our lives. We learn to be watchful and careful with our thoughts, discerning what is essential to our being, and what is not. When we come to the stark reality of our being, as it exists in the moment, we can begin to realize what is eternal in us. That which is determined by conditioning is not eternal. We can learn to trust our understanding of what kind of thoughts, feelings, and actions are in alignment with what we experience as our eternal, or core self. We build our inner strength in this way. Meanwhile, we are called to be gentle with ourselves, because as we shape our lives in becoming more authentic, we experience the shedding of the effects of our conditioning. Inwardly, we need to be aware of, but also dismiss this element of detoxing, and focus on what nourishes us, in a way that is honoring the past role of what the false elements of identity held, so that we can let them go in a gentle way. This requires a willingness to accept, and willingly delve into our own darkness. This is where you find keys to self awareness.
To go into the dark with a light
is to know the light,
To know the dark, go dark.
Go without sight,
and find that the dark, too
blooms and sings,
and is traveled by.
dark feet and dark wings.
– Wendell Berry
When we experience this kind of death and rebirth dynamic within ourselves, we develop capacities for deeper understanding and compassion for others.
Remember, you are another “I”. We learn to recognize that all of us are striving, learning imperfect human beings. Because of certain impulses in our modern world, we are constantly faced with the question, ‘who are we?’ Are we spiritual beings, or just accidental creations from random combinations of atoms and molecules? Will technological achievements make us better, especially if we start incorporating them into our bodies? How are we to find our true nature? What does it mean to be fully human? Is anyone fully human? Who is not? These questions face us especially when we encounter each other.
We bring our inner soul experiences into all that we do. We ensoul our lives with our hearts. Our views of the human being and the world determine our lives as we co-create our world. In mysterious ways we create ourselves and our future selves. If we are honest with ourselves, we can admit that we are mostly aware of our inner soul experiences, and that we have to work at recognizing that another person is also ensouled. In fact, for most of us, our interest is mainly focused on ourselves. To the degree we genuinely turn our interest towards another, we shorten the gap between us, and we discover, a little bit, of what humanity truly is. Interest is an activity that has to be inwardly generated and cultivated. We reach out with our interest to touch another person’s reality of heart and mind.
Other activities that we have to generate, but differently, are openness and vulnerability. To generate these we have to let go of our separating tendencies to focus on maintaining/guarding our sense of individuality. In other words, our fear of loss of self. There are people who loathe the idea of feeling vulnerable. To be vulnerable is equated to be weak and needy, and heaven forbid should anyone else see them in such a light. Unfortunately, these individuals often negatively judge others who show vulnerability. Of course, one can go to extremes with feeling vulnerable, and get lost in the world around them. Self definition is a prerequisite for being healthily vulnerable.
By allowing myself to vulnerably show my heart, I invite others to do the same. It has to be a given that some will respond likewise, while others may not. Some may likewise open up, then close down, because the experience is too challenging to their comfortable definitions of self and identity. It is difficult to have our buttons of fear activated, for they have kept us safe and secure for however long. Ironically, it is when we dare exhibit our vulnerability that we become strong, in a new way. Our confidence is fed in surprising ways, and we contribute in building new possibilities between ourselves with another, especially with those who are willing to be vulnerable, as well. Such relationships develop adamantine characteristics, which all of us are yearning for.
October 27, 2017
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